I've been champing at the bit to
write this one. You see, I just love words, but plowing through
hundreds of them daily as I do, I frequently run into
clichés. Now, in defense of clichés, most
were clever enough originally, but over time they've become so overused
that they're better off being sent out to pasture.
So saddle up folks--here we go.
We already have a huge range of
horse expressions. Not that I have anything against equestrian
references, but clichés are a sign of intellectual laziness, and
before the situation gets any worse, we need to stop horsing around and
rein in this nonsense. Being a writer and teacher, I'm in the
perfect position to help you corral your cliché using
propensities. Just remember--you're getting this straight from
the horse's mouth.
Now, I'm not saying that if the
muses deliver an equine metaphor to your doorstep, you shouldn't use
it. Far from it--you should never look a gift-horse in the
mouth. But before you use it, make sure it's original. And
before you accuse me of putting the cart before the horse, before you
tell me that eliminating all horse references is premature, I must tell
you that I've thought long and hard on this. I never have
blinders on when it comes to clichés, and I have the horse sense
to never fall prey to them like some writers do.
A few evenings ago, my girlfriend and I were lounging around watching a video --The Horse Whisperer, A Man Called Horse, The Electric Horseman, or something like that. We'd eaten dinner less than two hours
ago, but I was still hungry and thinking about rustling up something to
eat.
"Are you hungry?" I asked.
"I am so hungry," she said,
running a hand through her mane of thick red hair, "I could eat a
horse."
"How about a roast beef sandwich smothered in horseradish?"
"Beef is bad for you."
"Whoa," I replied, pounding on my chest. "I'm healthy as a horse."
"Yeah right," she said. "You're ready for the glue factory."
Sometimes she can be a real
horse's behind, but I love her anyway. I ignored the playful
insult, paused the video, and hoofed it down to the kitchen to find
something to throw in the old feedbag.
Personally, I
think she was just being a nag that night.
Our language is burdened like a
packhorse with clichés, but I promise to be ever vigilant in
locating them, and I will remain on my high horse until every last one
of them is put down. I am the word Cavalry come to the
rescue. Still, I'm sure I won't be able to change everyone.
After all, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it
drink. Maybe you're one of those people who is happy thinking
and speaking in clichés, and nothing will spur you to change.
If that's the case, it’s a horse of a different color altogether.
Thanks for Visiting!